God, she's beautiful.
She's got the prettiest eyes...
and she looks so sexy in that sweater.
I just want to be alone with her...
and hold her and kiss her...
and tell her how much I love her...
and take care of her...
Stop it, you idiot.
She's your wife's sister.
But I can't help it.
I'm consumed by her.
It's been months now.
I dream about her.
I think about her at the office.
Oh, Lee...
what am I going to do?
I hear myself mooning over you...
and it's disgusting.
Before, when she squeezed past me in the doorway...
and I smelled that perfume on the back of her neck...
Jesus, I thought I was going to swoon.
Easy.
You're a dignified financial adviser.
It doesn't look good for you to swoon.
Elliot?
Sweetheart, have you tried these?
They're wonderful. Holly and her friend made them.
They're fantastic.
Your sister is an unbelievable cook.
I know. She has all the cooking charm.
You've got talent as well.
I've eaten five of these.
Holly, why don't you open a restaurant?
We practically are.
Well, not a restaurant, but...
April and I are going to do some catering.
- You're kidding. - No. We decided.
Perfect.
We like to cook for our friends...
so until an acting job comes, we could do private parties.
Great idea. That's where your talent lies.
I know. Get out.
Can I speak to you privately?
I'm her husband. She tells me anything.
Hannah, I have to borrow some more money.
- Don't get upset. - Lt never upsets me.
This is the last time. I'm keeping strict accounts.
Holly, please, don't insult me.
Someday I'll pay back everything.
- I know. How much? - $2,000.
April and I have this catering idea that'll be great.
You admit we're great cooks, right?
To get started, there's things I have to buy...
and some old debts.
Tell me one thing. Are we talking cocaine again?
I swear. I swear.
We've already got requests to do some dinner parties.
Obviously I'm not going to be a caterer forever.
We both still audition.
Something could come up at any moment.
My days are free for my acting class.
I haven't done drugs in a year.
A whimpering
Simpering
Child again
Bewitched
Bothered and bewildered
Mom and Dad are floating down memory lane again.
- Tried the shrimp? - Fantastic.
You've outdone yourself.
I need an antihistamine. Mom's feeling her asthma...
so before she turns into a comedian...
She's a comedian when she gets up.
At least she isn't drinking.
Doesn't she look great in that new dress?
She knows it, too, 'cause she's flirting.
Maybe when she's 80, she'll stop straightening her garter.
She's got a garter belt.
Where's the antihistamine?
Ask Elliot. He's got them somewhere.
Frederick didn't come with her.
When does Frederick ever come?
He's such an angry... such a depressive.
I thought she was moving out.
A pill, he is
But still he is
All mine and I'll keep him until he is
Bewitched
Watch out, you guys.
The kids are so adorable.
It gets so lonely on holidays.
That's why I invited Phil Gamisch.
Hannah, he's such a loser.
He's not a loser.
He's the headmaster at Daisy's school.
He reminds me of Ichabod Crane.
His Adam's apple jumps up and down when he's excited.
He's a lot better than your ex... husband.
He's got a good job. He's not a dope addict.
Give me a break.
Am I interrupting any sister talk?
Come in!
There are no interesting single men at this party.
It's terrible.
Maybe April would like Phil. Tall guy.
I met Phil. Looks like Ichabod Crane?
I love that. That's my type.
I don't believe it.
Really, we mustn't get discouraged.
Hannah will invite some men who don't look like Ichabod Crane.
If not this Thanksgiving...
maybe at Christmas or New Year's.
If not this New Year's, maybe next New Year's.
Must be here someplace.
I love that book you lent me... "The Easter Parade."
You were right. It had very special meaning for me.
How's Frederick? He didn't come.
You know, one of his moods.
Although it wasn't a bad week. He sold a picture.
One of his better drawings, a very beautiful nude study.
Actually, it was of me.
It's a funny feeling to know...
you're being hung naked in some stranger's living room.
But you can't tell it's me, although...
You're turning all red, Elliot.
Really?
So what else? What are you up to?
I don't know.
My unemployment's running out.
I was thinking of taking some courses at Columbia.
Like?
I don't know, exactly.
Sociology, psychology maybe...
I always thought I'd like to work with children.
I always have clients who are furnishing places.
Some might be interested in buying art.
Shall I call you?
Sure.
Frederick would really be grateful for a sale.
Dinner's ready.
You look so beautiful. Doesn't she look pretty?
I bumped into your ex... husband the other day.
He's as crazy as ever. He was going to get a blood test.
Mickey's such a hypochondriac.
How would he handle a real illness?
Let's go have dinner.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Dad...
No. Now...
We're starving.
This is a toast...
Take the wine away.
This is a toast.
You know, this beautiful Thanksgiving dinner...
was all prepared by Hannah.
A little help from Mary, also Holly and April...
You did it.
And we drink to her, and we all congratulate her...
on her wonderful accomplishment during this last year...
her great success in "A Doll's House."
Bravo! Bravo!
I played Nora...
I hate to tell you what year... and it's very difficult...
to behave like Torvald's little chipmunk...
without making a perfect ass out of yourself.
I think that lbsen would have been damn proud of our Hannah.
Speech!
I've been very, very lucky.
When I had the kids, I decided to stop working...
and devote myself to the family...
and I've been very happy...
but I've always hoped that maybe some little gem...
would come along and tempt me back on the stage.
So now I got that out of my system...
and I can go back to what makes me happiest.
Bravo!
Is it my imagination...
or does Elliot have a little crush on me?
It's funny. I've had that thought before.
He pays attention to me all the time...
and he blushed tonight when we were alone in the bedroom.
I wonder if he and Hannah are happy.
It's funny.
I still feel a little buzz from his flirting.
Want some coffee or tea?
No, thank you.
How about something to eat?
Nothing.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
What am I going to do with you?
God...
And why didn't you come tonight?
We all had a terrific time.
You would have enjoyed yourself.
I'm going through a period...
where I just can't be around people.
I didn't want to abuse anyone.
You wouldn't. They're all so sweet.
You're the only person I can be with...
who I really look forward to being with.
You're too harsh with everyone.
You know that, don't you?
Isn't it enough that I can love you?
You're such a puzzle...
so sweet with me and so contemptuous of everyone else.
There was a time when you were happy to be only with me.
You wanted to learn everything about poetry, music.
Have I taught you everything I have to give?
I don't think so.
Elliot said he might have a couple of clients for you.
I'm sure those morons he handles have deep feelings for art.
You never know.
He was just being nice.
Because he likes you.
Me?
Elliot lusts after you.
Based on what? You never even see him.
Based on...
whenever you see him...
you come home with books he's recommended...
or films you must see or...
He's my sister's husband.
If you gave him half a chance, you'd like him.
He's very intelligent.
He's a glorified accountant, and he's after you.
And I prefer to sell my work...
to people who appreciate it, not to rock stars.
Understand?
They won't let us do the sketch?
They think it's too dirty.
They saw the rehearsal.
Did they figure out what the words mean?
Mickey, it's a half hour to air.
We're short. The show's five minutes short.
How can it be?
Without the sketch, we're ten minutes short.
How can they do that?
It's because our ratings are low.
Migraine.
We better go to Ronnie's dressing room.
This kid must've taken 1,600 Quaaludes.
He can't go on.
Why me, Lord?
What did l...
Standards and practices?
Why suddenly is the sketch dirty?
Child molestation is a touchy subject.
Read the papers. Half the country's doing it.
But you name names.
We don't name names. We say, "The Pope."
That sketch cannot go on.
Who changed my sketch about the P.L.O.?
I had to cut four lousy lines.
The whole premise is ruined.
You're crazy. It's not so delicate.
I don't care!
I don't want anyone tampering without telling me.
You want them cut, I'll cut them myself.
Listen, instead of the child... molestation sketch...
why don't we repeat...
the Cardinal Spelling/Ronald Reagan homosexual dance number?
I don't feel good.
What did you do, swallow a drugstore?
I lost my voice.
Jesus...
Ronnie, you have to go on in twenty... five minutes.
Does anybody got a Tagamet? My ulcer's killing me.
You want a Quaalude?
Christ, this show's ruining my health.
Meanwhile, my ex... partner moves to California...
and every stupid show he produces...
turns out to be a big hit.
Brother, what am I going to do with my life?
Speaking of that...
I got to remember to see my ex... wife tomorrow.
Glad you could put in an appearance.
I got two minutes.
The show's killing me. I got a million appointments.
I got to see new comedians later...
Two minutes on your sons' birthday.
Happy birthday, fellas.
Hey, guys, look. Daddy brought presents.
A little hug. What is this?
How about some action from the kids?
How is everything?
Everything's good. Everything's fine.
Open the presents now.
Let's see some reaction.
How's Elliot?
He's fine.
I'm trying to convince him to produce a play.
Really? That'll be terrific.
I like him. He's a sweet guy.
Isn't that a great mitt?
'Cause he's a loser.
He's awkward and clumsy like me.
I always like an underconfident person, you know?
He's been wanting a mitt.
You've always had good taste in husbands.
That's a beauty.
Go out over there. Come on, hurry up.
Go out by the Sung vase and catch this.
Watch the...
Hannah's sweet.
Sometimes I still get angry when I think of things.
What the hell.
At least I'm not paying child support.
I hope there's nothing physically wrong with me either.
So what's the problem this time?
This time I really think I have something.
It's not like that adenoidal thing...
where I didn't know I had them out when I was younger.
I saw your father this week about his sinus.
He complained of chest pains.
This guy's the real hypochondriac of the family.
He mentioned that you'd had some dizziness.
A little dizziness, and I think I'm developing...
a hearing loss in my right ear... left ear.
Sorry. My right...
Right or left. I can't remember.
Let's take a look.
You have had a significant drop...
in the high decibel range of your right ear.
Really?
Have you been exposed to a loud noise recently, or a virus?
I've been perfectly healthy.
You know me... I always imagine I have things.
When did you first notice this?
About a month ago. What do I have?
You've had dizzy spells.
What about ringing and buzzing? You notice any of that?
Now that you mention it, I have buzzing and also ringing.
Ringing and buzzing. Am I going deaf?
It's just in one ear.
Is it healthier to have problems in both ears?
I'd like to make an appointment at the hospital...
and have them run some tests.
The hospital? What kind of tests?
Don't get alarmed.
These are just more sophisticated...
audiometry tests than I can run here.
It's nothing.
Then why go to the hospital at all?
I hear perfectly fine.
I'm weak in the high decibels, so I'll skip the opera.
Don't panic.
I just want to rule out some things.
Like what?
It's nothing. Will you trust me?
Hello, Dr. Wilkes? This is Mickey Saxe.
I want to ask a question.
Sure, Mickey. What's up?
If you have a hearing loss in one ear...
and it's not from a virus or a loud noise...
what are the possibilities?
Anything. Often it's hereditary.
Flu... even a small noise will do it.
Right, but nothing worse?
I guess the dark side of the spectrum is a brain tumor.
Really?
Here's the new pages.
Wait. Did cards get these?
Not yet.
Let's hope it's good.
Really.
We'll be down in a minute.
What's the matter with you? You're all white.
I feel dizzy. I don't feel well.
Do you hear a ringing?
Is there a ringing sound?
I hear it.
Not that.
We're going to be working late tonight.
We'll order out.
Jesus, if I have a brain tumor, I don't know...
You don't. He didn't say you did.
Naturally they won't tell you...
because sometimes the weaker ones will panic.
But not you.
Do you hear a buzzing?
Come on. We got a show to do.
I can't keep focused.
But there's nothing wrong with you.
Then why does he want to run more tests?
He has to rule out certain things.
Like what?
I don't know. Cancer.
Don't say that. I don't want to hear that word.
But you don't have any symptoms.
I got the classic symptoms of a brain tumor.
Two months ago it was a malignant melanoma.
Naturally.
The sudden appearance of a black spot on my back...
It was on your shirt.
How was I to know? Everyone was pointing.
We've got to make some booking decisions.
I can't. I can't think.
This morning I was so happy.
I don't know what went wrong.
You were miserable this morning.
We got bad reviews, terrible ratings...
the sponsors are furious.
I was happy, but I just didn't realize I was happy.
These things are delicious. What in the world are they?
Those are quail eggs. Aren't they good?
My friend April makes those.
Here, try a shrimp puff.
I make those.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
The stroganoff is ready.
We're a big hit.
Yesterday, I auditioned for "Come Back, Little Sheba."
That wasn't such a big hit.
You'll get five jobs next week.
Excuse me. Are there any more clams?
A few. You like them?
Can't resist.
How flattering.
Did you try the shrimp puffs?
You guys are too attractive to be caterers.
We're actresses.
Is this your first job?
Is the food that bad?
Not at all.
We need more sauce for the lasagna.
I know. You're an actress with a flair for shrimp puffs.
The shrimp puffs are Holly's.
I do the crepes caviar.
And the quail's responsible for the quail eggs.
I stole you a couple of extra clams.
Incidentally, I'm David Tolchin.
April Knox. Hi.
You're Holly.
We're the Stanislavski Catering Company.
Now I'll tell you the truth.
I came in because I was bored stiff by the party.
What makes you think we're more interesting?
Actually, I'm going to listen to Aida...
if I'm not in your way.
Not at all.
We saw Pavarotti and Arnani at the Met, and I cried.
I cry at the opera.
I go limp in the last scene in "La Traviata."
Me, too.
I have a box at the Met.
I bring my bottle of wine...
I watch, and I cry. It's disgusting.
What do you do?
I'm an architect.
What do you build?
Are you really interested?
What time do you get off?
It's the red one?
Oh, it's magnificent.
The design's deliberately noncontextual...
but I wanted to keep the atmosphere of the street...
on the proportions and in the material.
That's unpolished red granite.
Is that what...
It has an organic quality.
Right.
Almost entirely, wholly interdependent...
if you know what I mean.
I can't put it into words.
The important thing is, it breathes.
You know, people pass by vital structures all the time...
and they never take the time to appreciate them.
You tune into your environment.
It's really important.
What are your favorite buildings, David?
You want to see some?
Let's do it.
It's just so romantic.
I want to put on a gown and open the French doors...
It's French.
It is. It's romantic...
and it's got a handsome partner sitting right beside it...
and your eye goes along, lulled into complacency, and then...
- That's just... - Look at this.
That's disgusting. That's really terrible.
- Really sad. - And it ruins everything else.
It does.
We've seen a lot of stuff today.
Maybe we should start thinking about going home.
Who gets dropped first?
Gee, I don't know.
I live downtown.
We both live downtown.
It depends on what way you want to go.
If we took Fifth, then we'd get to your house first.
We could do that.
But Fifth is so jammed, isn't it?
Sometimes...
You live in Chelsea, don't you?
I guess if you live in Chelsea, that's probably first.
And then April.
Great.
Naturally, I get taken home first.
Obviously, he prefers April.
Of course, I was so tongue... tied all night.
I can't believe I said that about the Guggenheim.
My stupid roller... skating joke. I should never tell jokes.
Mom can tell 'em, and Hannah, but I kill 'em.
Where did April come up with that stuff...
about Adolf Loos and terms like "organic form"?
Well, naturally.
She went to Brandeis.
I don't think she knows what she's talking about.
Could you believe the way she was calling him David?
"Yes, David. I feel that way, too, David.
"What a marvelous space, David."
I hate April.
She's pushy.
Now they'll dump me, and she'll invite him up.
I blew it, and I really like him a lot.
Screw it. I'm not going to get upset.
I've got reading to do tonight.
I'll go to bed early, turn on a movie...
and take an extra Seconal.
Oh, my goodness.
What are you doing here?
I'm looking for a bookstore.
In this section of town?
I'm killing time.
I have a client near here, and I'm early.
How about you?
You live near here.
I do.
Where are you headed?
To my A.A. Meeting.
Why do you still go to those? You never touch alcohol.
You didn't know me before Frederick.
I'd start with a beer at 10 a.m.
You must have been very unhappy.
Unhappy and fat.
I still find the meetings very comforting.
I'll never understand it.
You're so bright and charming and beautiful.
I think to myself...
"What problems could she possibly have?"
Don't let me get started on my childhood.
You know what?
There is a bookstore... a couple blocks from here.
You'd really love it.
You would.
If you have some free time...
Sure.
Thank you.
Isn't this great? They have everything here.
It's wonderful.
What book did you want to buy?
- What? - You wanted to buy a book?
I'm killing time. I just wanted to browse.
You sure picked the right place.
You can stay here all afternoon and just read.
Unless you had some time. We could get some coffee.
I don't have time.
I understand completely.
No problem. You're busy. I...
You seem tense. Is everything all right?
Everything's OK?
Yeah. How are you?
I'm all right.
How's Frederick?
Fine. We went to the Caravaggio exhibition at the Met.
It's such a treat to go through a museum with Frederick.
You learn so much.
Do you like Caravaggio?
Who doesn't?
Look.
E.E. Cummings. I'd like to get you this.
I can't let you get me that.
- I'd like to very much. - I don't think so.
I read a poem of you and thought of his last week...
A poem of his and thought of you.
You'll be fine.
This is great. I love E.E. Cummings.
I'd love to get you this...
and maybe we could discuss it sometime.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks for showing me the bookstore.
Perhaps you could take me to an A.A. Meeting sometime.
I'd love to see what goes on.
You'd love it.
It's really entertaining. You'd have a good time.
And don't forget the poem on page 112.
It reminded me of you.
Really?
Page 112.
"Your slightest look easily will unclose me.
"Though I've closed myself, as fingers...
"you open always, petal by petal, myself...
"as spring opens...
"touching skillfully, mysteriously...
"her first rose."
"I do not know what it is about you...
"that closes and opens...
"only something in me understands.
"The voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses.
"Nobody, not even the rain...
"has such small hands."
I wasn't too happy with the results...
of your E.N.G. Or your B.S.E.R. Either...
which is why I sent you to tomography...
which was all that stuff rolling around.
See this gray area here?
That gray area's what I had hoped we wouldn't run into.
I'd like you to come in Monday for a CAT scan.
A brain scan?
Let's take one step at a time.
We won't make any decisions...
until we have all the information, all right?
Take it easy.
He didn't say you had anything.
He just doesn't like the spot on your x... ray, that's all.
Doesn't mean you have anything. Don't jump to conclusions.
Nothing's going to happen to you.
You're in the middle of New York City.
This is your town.
You're surrounded by people and traffic and restaurants.
God, how can you just, one day, vanish?
Keep calm. You're going to be OK.
Don't panic.
I'm dying! I know it!
There's a spot on my lungs!
Take it easy, will you?
It's not on your lungs. It's on your ear.
The same thing, isn't it?
I can't sleep.
God, there's a tumor in my head the size of a basketball.
Now I keep thinking I can feel it every time I blink.
He wants me to do a brain scan...
to confirm what he already suspects.
I'll make a deal with God. Let it just be my ear.
I'll go deaf, and blind in one eye, maybe...
but I don't want a brain operation.
Once they go into my skull...
I'll wind up like the guy with the wool cap...
who delivers for the florist.
Relax. Your whole life you run to doctors.
The news is always fine.
That's not true. What about years ago?
I'm sorry to say that you cannot have children.
Is there no chance?
This doesn't mean that you can't have a normal sex life...
but Mr. Saxe's tests indicate that he is infertile...
small sperm volume and infertile.
Isn't there anything I can do? Push... ups or hormones?
I'm afraid not.
I got to get a second opinion.
This is the second opinion.
Then a third opinion.
I realize this is a blow.
My experience is that many very fine marriages...
become unstable and are destroyed...
by an inability to deal with this sort of problem.
I hope you won't make too much of it.
One can adopt children...
and there are various artificial methods of fertilization.
I'm so humiliated. I don't...
Could you have ruined yourself somehow?
How could I ruin myself?
I don't know. Excessive masturbation?
You going to start knocking my hobbies? Jesus.
Maybe we can adopt a child.
What about artificial insemination?
What are you talking about?
I would get implanted from a donor.
A stranger?
They have these banks where they keep them frozen.
You want a defrosted kid?
I want to experience childbirth.
With a stranger?
Just think about it. That's all I ask.
I think that's the best show you two ever wrote.
The funniest show Mickey and I ever did...
was the one we won the Emmy for.
I think as far as laughs...
that was probably the best thing we ever did.
It was very funny...
but the show about the two Frenchmen...
that was funny and warm.
We got that idea on that Paris trip.
Do you remember that trip?
You had jet lag for six straight weeks.
But I guess we had fun when we were there.
Sorry. Coffee?
Listen, you guys, we...
Want some more?
We had something we really wanted to discuss with you.
Jesus, this is very delicate...
and I'd only bring this up amongst friends.
I mean, this is...
this should not go any further than this room.
I'm all ears.
Hannah and I can't have any children.
I don't want to get into whose fault it is...
it's my fault...
and the details are too embarrassing to...
We decided after a lot of discussion...
that we'd try with artificial insemination.
I'm not so sure I like that idea myself.
I didn't really want to go to a sperm bank...
have some anonymous donor.
I just... I wouldn't want that.
We felt if we were going to do it...
we'd like somebody we knew and liked...
and was warm and bright.
Feel free to say no.
We realize it has all kinds of implications.
The point that we're making is that we need some sperm.
Well...
my first reaction after the initial shock...
is flattered that you'd ask me.
I'd be the father.
You'd just have to masturbate into a little cup.
I can handle that.
Obviously, we wouldn't have intercourse.
Gosh. Listen, I've got to tell you the truth here.
- I'm a little uneasy about this. - I know it's a lot to ask.
I feel for you. I do. I'm going to cry.
You want my husband to have a child with you?
Don't answer now.
Just take it home and think about it for a while.
I gave blood before and, uh, clothing to the poor.
I want to talk about this at home.
I think it's a matter for your analyst and mine.
And maybe my lawyer.
We understand completely if you feel you'd rather not.
I didn't mean to spoil the evening.
Now let's move on to another topic.
So you had my ex... partner's baby.
Twins.
And maybe that did cause some trouble...
but I think we were drifting apart anyhow.
Now, instead of man and wife, we're just good friends.
Boy, love is really unpredictable.
Say hello to Dusty Fry.
Hi, Dusty.
Dusty's just bought a huge house in Southampton...
and he's decorating it.
It's a weird place, actually.
A lot of wall space. How you doing, man?
I told him about your work, and he's very excited.
I got an Andy Warhol and a Frank Stella, too.
It's very beautiful... big, weird.
If you stare at that Stella too long...
the colors just seem to float.
Have you decided about becoming a collector?
I got a lot to learn, though.
I wasn't into art when I was a kid.
Do you appreciate drawings?
She's beautiful.
But, really, I need something... I'm looking for something big.
Show him the oils.
They're in the basement.
Frederick's done this new series you would really love.
Are they big?
Some of them, yeah.
'Cause I got a lot of wall space.
I don't sell my work by the yard.
How's everything?
Oh, you know. I talked to Hannah.
She said you two might be going...
to the country for the weekend.
She loves to go in the woods.
But I'd go nuts.
It's a conflict.
I have to get my teeth cleaned this week.
That's nice.
I figured I'd get Frederick and Dusty together.
That's really nice.
This kid, he's earned a trillion dollars.
He's got, like, six gold records.
Speaking of records...
I bought that Mozart trio you recommended...
and the man in the record shop...
showed me another one I think you'd love.
It's another Bach. Second movement.
You have that one?
I'd love to hear it.
Holly met a wonderful man who loves opera... an architect.
That's nice.
I'd love to see her wind up settled.
She's a tense one.
Isn't that beautiful?
I know this.
Bach, F... minor Concerto.
It's one of my favorites.
Did you ever get around to E.E. Cummings?
He's just adorable.
They have a very large gay clientele...
where I get my teeth cleaned...
and all the hygienists now wear gloves...
because they're afraid of AIDS.
Right.
Did you ever get around to the poem on page 112?
It made me cry, it was so beautiful, so romantic.
I want so badly to kiss her.
Not here, you idiot.
You've got to get her alone someplace...
but I've got to proceed cautiously.
This is a very delicate situation.
Ask her if you can see her for lunch or a drink tomorrow...
and be ready to make light of the offer if she's unresponsive.
This has to be done very skillfully and diplomatically.
Did you ever read this one?
- Don't! - I'm in love with you.
What are you doing?
I'm sorry. I have to talk to you.
I've been in love with you for so long.
I don't have an interest in selling it.
I ask for something with puce in it...
you fly off the handle.
I'm not interested in what your interior decorator thinks.
I can't commit to anything without consulting her first.
That's what I have her for.
This is degrading. You don't buy paintings...
to blend in with the sofa.
It's not a sofa. It's an ottoman.
God, forget it. Let's just get out of here.
What a weirdo that guy is. Paranoid.
What's the matter with you?
I'll be OK.
It's no big deal. We didn't hit it off.
You go on ahead.
Are you OK? You're sweating.
I just need some fresh air. Something I ate.
I'll walk. You go ahead.
You go.
There you are. I was looking for you.
I must apologize. I'm so mixed up.
How do you expect me to react to such a thing?
I know, but I'm in love with you.
Don't say those words.
I'm sorry. I know it's terrible.
You know the situation.
I know. I realize.
What do you expect me to say?
Hannah and I are in the last stages.
She's never said anything, and we're very close.
She's crazy about me, but somewhere along the line...
I've fallen out of love with her.
Not because of me?
I love you.
I can't be the cause of anything between you and Hannah.
It was inevitable that Hannah and I part.
Why?
For a million reasons.
But not over me?
We were both going in different directions.
Poor Hannah.
Do you share any of my feelings...
or is this an unpleasant embarrassment?
I can't say anything.
Please be candid. I don't want you to feel bad.
I have certain feelings for you...
but don't make me say anything more.
You've said enough. I'll work things out.
Don't do anything on my behalf.
I live with Frederick, and Hannah and I are close.
But you care about me?
I can't be a party to this.
I'm racked with guilt just talking to you.
Your guilt is because you feel the same.
Please, I have to go. I have to get my teeth cleaned.
I have my answer.
I'm walking on air.
Hi. How's she doing?
I'm glad to see you. She's in the kitchen.
It's the same thing.
She promises. It's all lies.
Don't make it worse, Dad.
Hi, Mom. How you doing?
Let me get you some coffee.
What triggered it?
We were making a commercial...
and there was this young, good... looking salesman...
and your mother was throwing herself at him...
in a disgusting way.
And when she found she was too old to seduce him...
that he was embarrassed by her...
Liar!
And at lunch she got drunker and drunker.
Finally, she became Joan Collins!
All my life, I've had to put up with insults...
from this nonperson...
this haircut that passes for a man.
He could never support us.
It's a good thing we had a talented daughter.
I can only hope that she was mine.
With you as her mother...
her father could be anybody in Actor's Equity!
She's talented, so it's unlikely she's yours.
Could you stay in the other room and let me take care of her?
You never know when she's going to fall off the wagon...
and humiliate everybody.
Here, Mom. Drink this.
You're awful.
You probably were flirting.
I like to joke around and have fun...
and he gets angry because I get the attention.
He's gotten sour as he's gotten older...
and I've tried to stay young at heart.
You promised to stay on the wagon.
The sacrifices I've made because of that man.
He's ruined me with his ego, his philandering...
his mediocrity.
Stop being so dramatic.
He's the one that's laid every ingénue in stock!
They wanted me for a screen test...
but I knew that he'd get up there...
and he'd flounder around with his expensive haircuts...
hairdos, and clothes.
He's all show.
Now, how can you act...
when there's nothing inside to come out?
She was so beautiful at one time...
and he was so dashing...
both of them just full of promise...
and hopes that never materialized.
And the fights...
and the constant infidelities to prove themselves...
and blaming each other.
It's so sad.
They loved the idea of having us kids...
but raising us didn't interest them much...
but it's impossible to hold it against them.
They didn't know anything else.
Of all of us in the family...
you were the one blessed with the true gift.
My true gift is luck.
From my first show, you know?
I always thought Lee was the one destined for great things.
She's lovely, but she doesn't have your spark.
She knows it. She worships you.
She wouldn't dare get up there on stage.
Now, Holly's not shy.
Holly's game for anything.
Holly takes after me.
True.
I'd have been a great dope addict.
You remember this, Hannah?
Mr. Saxe, I'm afraid the news is not good.
If I can show you exactly where the tumor is...
and why we feel that surgery would be of no use.
See...
It's over.
I'm face to face with eternity.
Not later, but now.
I'm so frightened, I can't move or speak or breathe.
You're just fine.
There's absolutely nothing here at all...
and your tests are all fine.
I must admit, I was concerned, given your symptoms.
What caused this hearing loss in one ear...
I guess we'll never really know for sure...
but whatever it was, it's certainly not anything serious.
I'm very relieved.
What do you mean, you're quitting?
Why? The news is good.
You don't have cancer...
the thing.
Do you realize what a thread we're all hanging by?
You're off the hook. You should be celebrating.
Can you understand how meaningless everything is?
Everything, I'm talking about...
our lives, the show, the whole world.
But you're not dying.
I'm not dying now...
but when I ran out of the hospital...
I was so thrilled...
and I'm running down the street...
and, suddenly, I stop.
It hit me... so I'm not going to go today...
but, eventually, I'm going to be in that position.
You're just realizing this now?
I don't realize it now.
I know it all the time, but I manage to stick it...
in the back of my mind.
Can I tell you something?
Yes, please.
A week ago, I bought a rifle.
I was going to kill myself.
The only thing that might have stopped me...
is my parents would be devastated.
I would have to shoot them also, first...
and then my aunt and uncle.
It would have been a bloodbath.
Well, eventually, it is going to happen to all of us.
Yes, but doesn't that ruin everything for you?
It just takes the pleasure out of everything.
You're going to die, I'm going to die...
the audience, the network, the sponsor, everybody.
I know, and your hamster.
Listen, kid, I think you snapped your cap.
Maybe you need a few weeks in Bermuda or something...
or go to a whorehouse.
I can't stay on the show. I got to get some answers.
Otherwise, I'm going to do something drastic.
I thought you weren't coming.
I almost didn't.
I didn't sleep all night.
No, I'm sure.
What are we doing meeting in a hotel room?
It's terrible, isn't it?
I couldn't think where to invite you without taking risks.
I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen...
till you were living alone.
I was so torn when you called.
I wanted to call you every day...
since I first told you how I felt.
I resisted so many times.
Don't think badly of me.
This is not an easy situation.
I know it isn't.
That was just perfect.
You've ruined me for anyone else.
I don't want anyone else ever to have you.
I was so worried I wouldn't compare with Hannah.
Oh, my God.
You really do have those thoughts, don't you?
All the time.
I know she must be a really passionate person.
Yes, she's very warm and giving...
but it's me that wants to be giving to you.
I want to do things for you.
Hannah doesn't need me as much.
I'm being presumptuous.
Not that you need me.
I want you to take care of me...
and I love when you do things to me.
You're late.
Lucy and I kept talking.
I didn't realize how late it had gotten.
You missed a very dull TV show about Auschwitz.
More gruesome film clips...
and more puzzled intellectuals declaring their mystification...
over the systematic murder of millions.
The reason why they can never answer the question...
"How could it possibly happen?" Is that it's the wrong question.
Given what people are, the question is...
"Why doesn't it happen more often?"
Of course, it does, in subtler forms.
I have a little headache from this weather.
It's been ages since I sat in front of the TV...
just changing channels to find something.
You see the whole culture...
Nazis...
deodorant salesman...
wrestlers...
beauty contests, the talk show.
Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling?
But the worst are the Fundamentalist preachers...
third... rate con men...
telling the poor suckers that watch them...
that they speak for Jesus...
and to please send in money. Money, money, money.
If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name...
he'd never stop throwing up.
Oh, God, Frederick, could you please lighten up?
I'm not in the mood...
to hear a review of contemporary society again.
You've been very nervous lately.
I can't take this anymore.
I'm trying to complete an education...
I started on you five years ago.
I'm not your pupil. I was, but I'm not.
When you leave the nest, I want you to be ready.
We have to make some changes.
Like what?
You know what. I'm suffocating.
Are we going to have this conversation again?
Yes, we're going to have this conversation again.
I have to leave. I have to move out.
- Why? - Because I have to.
What are you going to use for money?
I thought maybe I'd move in with my parents for a while.
I always told you you would leave me.
Does it have to be now?
Maybe it will only be temporary, but I have to try.
You're my whole world.
Good God. Have you been kissed tonight?
Yes, you have. You've been with someone!
Stop accusing me!
I'm too smart, Lee. You can't fool me!
- You're turning red! - Leave me alone!
Oh, Christ! What's wrong with you?
I'm sorry.
Why couldn't you say something?
You have to slither around behind my back.
I'm saying it now!
So you met somebody else?
You knew it was going to happen sooner or later.
I can't live like this.
Who is it?
Just somebody I met.
Who? Where did you meet him?
It doesn't matter. I have to move out.
You're my only connection to the world.
That's too much responsibility for me.
It's not fair. I want a less complicated life.
I want a husband, maybe a child, before it's too late.
Jesus. Jesus.
Oh, God. I don't even know what I want.
What do you get out of me, anyway? I mean...
It's not sexual anymore.
It's certainly not intellectual.
You're so superior to me in every way.
Don't patronize me!
God! I should have married you years ago when you wanted to.
I should have agreed.
Don't you know it never would have worked?
I told you one day you would leave me...
for a younger man. I...
What passion today with Lee.
She's a volcano.
It was a totally fulfilling experience...
just as I'd dreamed it would be.
That's what it was.
It was like living out a dream, a great dream.
Now I feel very good and cozy being here next to Hannah.
There's something very lovely and real about Hannah.
She gives me a very deep feeling of being part of something.
She's a wonderful woman, and I betrayed her.
She came into my empty life and changed it...
and I paid her back by banging her sister in a hotel room.
God, I'm despicable.
What a cruel and shallow thing to do.
I have to call her and tell her what we did was crazy.
It can't ever happen again. I'm not that kind of man.
I value Hannah too much.
I love my wife. Now I betrayed her.
Oh, God.
Where are you going?
I've got to get a phone number. I forgot to phone Mel Kaufman.
- Lt's so late. - I know.
I can't believe I forgot.
What if he answers?
I'll hang up.
I'll tell her we can't communicate...
until I terminate my marriage...
it's immoral.
Then time will pass...
I won't call, and she'll get the idea.
I've got to stop this before I get in too deep.
I'd rather hurt Lee a little than destroy Hannah.
It's 1:30.
She can't have a conversation with me with him around.
I'm getting hysterical.
I'll call her first thing in the morning.
I'll call her at 6:00.
Frederick goes jogging at 6:00.
She'll be alone. I'll call her.
I've got it! I've got it! I've got it!
Mel!
I would have hung up if you hadn't answered.
I won't do this again, but I had to tell you...
I feel very close to you tonight, very, very close.
Good night.
Millions of books written on every conceivable subject...
by all these great minds...
and in the end, none of them knows anything more...
about the big questions of life than I do.
I read Socrates.
This guy used to knock off little Greek boys.
What the hell's he got to teach me?
And Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence.
He said that the life we live...
we're going to live over and over again...
the exact same way for eternity.
Great. That means I'll have to sit through...
the Ice Capades again.
It's not worth it.
And Freud, another great pessimist.
I was in analysis for years. Nothing happened.
My poor analyst got so frustrated...
the guy finally put in a salad bar.
Look at all these people jogging...
trying to stave off...
the inevitable decay of the body.
Boy, it's so sad what people go through...
with their stationary bike and their exercise and their...
Oh, look at this one.
Poor thing.
My God, she has to tote all that fat around.
She should pull it on a dolly.
Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
I was in love with Hannah. That didn't work out.
I even took her sister out. Remember that?
Remember years ago when Hannah and I got divorced...
and she fixed me up with her sister Holly?
I want to be like you
I'm gonna fit to your groove
I don't want to be different
So I'm gonna be just like you
'Cause I go buy records
That they play on the radio
I'm gonna dance that club
Gonna do just what I'm told
I'm pleadin'...
Why are you making those faces?
I can't hear you. I can't hear anything.
I'm going to lose hearing in my ear.
Listen, you're witnessing genius.
My ears are experiencing a meltdown.
I can't hear anything.
Can't you feel the energy? A tangible energy.
The room's alive with positive vibrations.
Holly, I'm frightened.
After their set, they're going to take hostages.
Let's... Don't... No, please. You... No.
You want some? Come on, Mickey.
You've been doing that all night.
You're going to develop a third nostril.
Don't. Please.
Can we go?
'Cause I go buy records
That they play on the radio
I love songs about extraterrestrial life...
don't you?
Not when they're sung by extraterrestrials.
I cannot communicate with you.
I never realized you were such a tight... ass.
Your sisters have such good taste in music.
I don't know where you went wrong.
I'm my own person.
Can I take you to hear something nice?
Mickey, it's getting late.
Because you're being angry.
I'm not angry, but you don't believe in E.S. P...
you don't like rock music, you won't get high.
It's like I'm dating Cardinal Cook.
Why am I
Just as reckless as a child?
Why am I
Like a racehorse runnin' wild?
Why am I
In a state of ecstasy?
The reason is 'cause something's happened to me
I'm in love again
And the spring is comin'
I'm in love again
Hear my heartstrings strummin'
I'm in love again
And the hymn they're hummin'
Is those cuddle... up
Huddle... up blues
I'm in love again
And I can't rise above it
I'm in love again
And I love, love, love it
Thanks for a swell time.
You didn't have to talk while the guy was singing.
I was so bored.
You don't deserve Cole Porter.
You should stay with those groups...
that look like they're going to stab their mothers.
I'm open to new concepts.
You don't have to snort cocaine all the time.
Do you carry a kilo in your purse?
This crowd wouldn't know the difference. They're embalmed.
I'm glad Hannah got us together.
She's got a great instinct for people, really.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. It's probably my fault.
I've been a little depressed lately.
I had a great time.
It was like the Nuremberg Trials.
I'll see myself home!
Yep, it was quite an evening.
Holly with her cocaine.
She should've been wearing a gold shovel around her neck.
She was polymorphously insensitive, I think.
Too bad, too...
'cause, you know, I always had a little crush on her.
You have to read the instructions.
You set one of these things...
and you can take pictures underwater.
When we get to the country, we'll try it in the lake, OK?
Are you in a bad mood?
I don't know. I'm just antsy.
I know. The last few weeks, you haven't been yourself.
Tonight at dinner, you were curt with me.
- Was I? - Yes, you were.
When I brought up the idea of having a baby...
you jumped down my throat.
I don't think it's a very good idea.
Why not?
It's the last thing we need right now.
Why do you say that? Is there something wrong?
I don't know.
Should I be worried?
Well, you got four children.
I want one with you.
I think we should wait till things settle.
What does that mean?
We've been married four years.
How settled can things get?
You have some very set plans...
on how your life should be structured...
a house, kids, certain school, a home in Connecticut.
It's all very preconceived.
Yeah, but l... I thought you needed that.
When we met, you said your life was chaos.
But there's got to be some give and take.
Listen, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
Are you angry with me?
Are you disenchanted with our marriage?
I didn't say that.
Are you in love with someone else?
What is this, the Gestapo? No.
Well, what? What are you not telling me?
What kind of interrogation...
Supposing I said yes, I am disenchanted.
- I am in love with someone else. - Are you?
But you keep asking these awful questions.
It's like you want me to say yes.
What are you talking about?
Of course not. I'd be destroyed.
For Christ's sake, stop torturing her.
Tell her you want out and get it over with.
You're in love with her sister.
You didn't do it on purpose.
Be honest. It's always the best way.
Can I help you?
If you're suffering over something...
will you share it with me?
You know how much I love you.
I ought to have my head examined.
I don't deserve you.
I want to look good...
but I don't want to feel like I'm overdressed.
How about this?
I really like that. That's a pretty color on you.
Ever think you'd be helping me...
find something to wear to the opera?
It's great. I can't wait to meet him.
He's married.
His wife's in and out of institutions.
She's schizophrenic.
Sometimes she's terrific, then she just breaks down.
He has this sweet daughter.
When she goes to college next year...
he's going to split permanently.
He's paid his dues...
but she helped put him through architecture school.
You found all this out on one date?
I think he was dying to open up. It's so sad.
What should I wear to my audition?
I've got a singing audition for a Broadway musical.
I'll never get it.
- Singing? - Can you believe it?
- Really? - Well, I mean, why not?
What have I got to lose?
No, I just... No, I didn't know you sang.
Why, you think everybody in musicals sings so well?
It's just that they sing.
Well, you know.
I sing a little. I mean, you know.
I know. No, I know.
I mean, don't say it that way.
My confidence is not my strong point.
I didn't mean that.
I think I can fake my way through a song, easily.
Why? You don't think it's realistic?
No, I didn't... No.
I just hate to see you put yourself in a position...
where you get hurt.
You know how you take every single rejection...
as confirmation that you have no talent.
Well, maybe I'll get it.
I hope.
Boy, you really know how to cut me down.
What? Don't be so sensitive.
Can't I say anything?
I sing. For Christ's sake, you heard me sing!
OK l... What happened?
We were having a really nice time...
and suddenly everything went to bad feeling.
Nobody but you can do that to me. I don't know why.
Look, everything's going your way.
You're right.
I'm happy.
Why must I let my insecurities spoil everything?
Yes, his fancies
Are passing fancies
But sighing sighs, holding hands
This my heart understands
I'm old... fashioned
And I don't mind it
It's how I want to be
As long as you agree
To stay old... fashioned
With me
Thank you very much.
- Thank you. - Terrific.
April Knox.
Someday
When I'm awfully low
When the world is cold
I will get a glow
Just thinking of you
And the way you look
Tonight
You sounded great. You may be surprised.
I'm glad we have a catering job this week.
I'm real low on money.
We have Mr. Levine's 80th birthday on Riverside Drive.
Or Riverside Memorial Chapel, depending on his health.
Listen. David called me up.
What?
David called me last night.
He wants to take me to the opera.
I didn't know what to say.
You're joking.
No, he called late last night.
I'm very surprised.
He wants to take me to see "Rigoletto."
And you're going.
I didn't know what to say.
First I said no, then he pressed it.
He said he'd taken you once...
and he really wanted to invite me.
But I'm seeing him.
I know. I said that...
but he said it was something he really felt like doing.
I don't know what to say.
It's just an evening at the opera.
Did I do wrong in accepting?
Why do you think that you would like to convert to Catholicism?
I've got to have something to believe in...
otherwise life is just meaningless.
But why did you make the decision...
to choose the Catholic faith?
First of all, because it's a very beautiful religion...
and it's a strong religion. It's very well... structured.
I'm talking now, incidentally...
about the against school prayer, pro... abortion, antinuclear wing.
At the moment you don't believe in God?
No, and I want to.
I'm willing to do anything.
I'll dye Easter eggs if it works.
I need some evidence. I got to have proof.
If I can't believe in God, then life isn't worth living.
It means making a very big leap.
Well, can you help me?
I don't understand.
I thought you'd be happy.
How can we be happy?
I never thought of God in my life.
Now I'm giving it serious thought.
Catholicism? Why not your own people?
I got off on the wrong foot with that.
I need a dramatic change in my life.
You're going to believe in Jesus Christ?
I know it sounds funny, but I'm going to try.
But why? We raised you as a Jew.
Just because I was born that way...
I'm old enough to make a mature decision.
But why Jesus Christ?
Why, for instance, shouldn't you become a Buddhist?
That's totally alien to me.
You're getting on in years.
Aren't you afraid of dying?
Why should I be afraid?
- 'Cause you won't exist. - So?
That thought doesn't terrify you?
Who thinks about such nonsense? When I'm dead, I'll be dead.
I don't understand. Aren't you frightened?
Of what? I'll be unconscious.
But never to exist again?
How do you know?
It certainly doesn't look promising.
Who knows what will be?
I'll either be unconscious, or I won't.
If not, I'll deal with it then. I'm not going to worry now.
Mom, come out.
Of course there's a god, you idiot.
You don't believe in God?
Then why is there so much evil in the world?
On a simplistic level, why were there Nazis?
Tell him, Max.
How the hell do I know?
I don't know how the can opener works.
Hi. Where's Holly?
She's auditioning for a television commercial.
She said she'll be late.
How is she doing?
You know Holly when she's depressed. She's manic.
It was a good idea we invited her to lunch.
I hope you told her it was your idea.
When I try to help, she gets defensive.
She's just embarrassed in front of you.
So how are you?
I'm OK.
Do you miss Frederick?
I can't believe Elliot and I...
can't think of someone for you to go out with.
Are you doing OK? How's Frederick... Elliot?
He's fine. I guess he's fine.
He's been kind of moody lately.
I don't know what's wrong with him.
He's kind of distant, difficult.
I've been trying to talk to him. He says everything's fine.
Automatically, I leap to the worst conclusion...
he's seeing someone else.
No, everyone thinks things like that.
I just came from an audition which I did not get.
So what's new?
They said I was too offbeat... looking...
whatever the hell that means.
But guess who's there auditioning?
April?
You got it. I was very polite.
I maintained my poise. I said hello.
I never trusted April.
She has eyes in the back of her head.
She and an architect are now a very definite item...
which I still cannot believe.
Although it's put an end...
to the Stanislavski Catering Company.
Which is why I have to speak to you.
You'll get impatient, but... I have to borrow more money.
That's fine.
What I decided to do is some writing.
I've had it with acting.
These meaningless auditions are cattle calls.
I can't handle another rejection.
Let's face it here.
I've got to latch on to something in my life...
something with a future. I'm not sixteen anymore.
It's just crazy...
but I've got an idea for a story, more than one...
and I just need a few months or a year even.
I picked up a lot of dramatic structure from acting class.
That's good. It just seems to me that six months or a year...
if you spend it more productively...
Like what?
Well, I don't know.
Didn't Mom mention there was something...
at the Museum of Broadcasting?
That's clerical.
No, didn't she say it was in the publicity department?
That can lead to other things.
I knew you'd be discouraging.
I'm trying to be helpful.
A person doesn't say one day...
"I'm finished as an actress. Now I'm a writer."
- You mean not at my age. - Please. We came to have lunch.
Right. Forget it.
I just want a salad.
You really think I'm a loser.
You're being ridiculous.
You are, Holly. Stop it.
- You treat me like a loser. - How?
You never have faith in my plans.
You always undercut my enthusiasm.
Not so. I've been very supportive.
I try to give you honest, constructive advice.
I'm always happy to help you financially.
I've gone out of my way...
to introduce you to interesting single men.
- All losers. - You're too demanding.
I could tell what you thought of me...
by the men you fixed me up with.
That's not true.
I know I'm mediocre.
Stop attacking Hannah.
She's going through a rough time.
Why are you so upset?
You've been picking on her since she came here.
Leave her alone. I'm suffocating.
Why are you so sensitive all of a sudden?
You want to write, write.
Let's just not talk about it anymore.
Take a year. Take six months, whatever you want.
Who knows? Maybe you'll be sitting with a good play.
What's the matter?
You look pale. Are you OK?
Yeah. You know, I just got dizzy all of a sudden.
I think we need to eat.
I can't seem to take action.
I'm like Hamlet unable to kill his uncle.
I want Lee, but I can't harm Hannah...
and in no other area am I a procrastinator.
Meanwhile, Lee has no direction.
She's taking courses at Columbia, but just randomly.
I try not to call her...
but then she calls me, and then I call...
and we try to resist meeting, but once in a while we meet.
Sometimes we argue because I can't break up my marriage.
Sometimes we wind up making love...
and we both feel terrible.
But it's my fault.
For all my education...
accomplishments, and so... called wisdom...
I can't fathom my own heart.
Krishna, Krishna, Hare, Hare...
What makes you interested in becoming a Hare Krishna?
I'm not saying that I want to join...
but I know you guys believe in reincarnation...
so it interests me.
What's your religion?
I was born Jewish...
but last winter I tried to become a Catholic.
It didn't work for me.
I studied and tried, but Catholicism for me was...
"Die now, pay later."
I couldn't get with it. I wanted to.
You're afraid of dying?
Yeah, naturally. Aren't you?
In reincarnation, does that mean my soul...
would pass to another human being...
or would I come back as a moose or an aardvark?
Take our literature, read it over...
and think about it.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome. Hare Krishna.
Who are you kidding? You're going to be a Krishna?
You're going to shave your head, put on robes...
and dance around at airports?
You'd look like Jerry Lewis.
Oh, God, I'm so depressed.
The nights are really getting cooler.
Summer went so quickly.
Soon it'll be fall.
My literature professor really likes me.
It was fun being out with him last night.
Funny, I feel like I'm betraying Elliot...
but that's ridiculous.
Why shouldn't I see Doug? Elliot's not free.
Just go one step at a time.
Let's see what the next few months bring.
You'll be happy to know that your money...
has not gone completely to waste.
I have an actual first rough draft...
of something I wrote.
I showed it to Lee. She gave me some good pointers.
I'm pretty near where you live. Could I just drop it off?
And when you have some time, read it.
We'll talk when I come over at Thanksgiving.
OK? All right. Wait. Listen.
I think Lee met an interesting guy at Columbia.
Yeah, yeah. Well, he sounds really nice.
Yeah. OK, all right. We'll talk at Thanksgiving.
Here's a song that Norma sang...
on that trip we made up to the show in Buffalo...
and, oh, was she beautiful that night.
Come on.
Yes, you were. Don't you remember that night?
She was so beautiful...
that when men saw her walking along the streets...
they'd drive their cars right up on the sidewalk.
That right, honey?
A slight exaggeration, but only slight.
You've been very cold to me tonight.
Is something wrong?
Not here.
There are too many people around.
I think Lee is really serious about her new boyfriend.
From what I understand, he sounds really nice.
I'm so happy for her. I think she's in love.
What's the matter?
I'm real upset about what you wrote.
My script?
It's obviously based on Elliot and me.
So loosely.
Not so loosely. Real specifically.
Is that how you see us?
Can I not accept gestures and feelings from people?
Do I put people off?
- Lt's a made... up story. - No, it's real exact.
The situations, the dialogue, everything.
It's full of intimate details between Elliot and me...
which I don't see how you could know about.
A conversation we had about adoption?
Lee mentioned that to me.
Obviously, you discussed it with her.
I took the essence, blew it up into drama.
I don't see how Lee could know. I don't tell her everything.
I guess I hit a nerve.
You make it sound like I have no needs.
You think I'm too self... sufficient?
That's not what I meant.
Everybody relies on you for so much.
You're so giving. It's not a criticism.
We love you. We're grateful.
Grateful, but you resent me.
Oh, wow. I don't want to have this conversation.
I didn't do anything wrong.
You said you and Elliot were having problems.
Problems that are my business...
which I don't see how you could know about in such detail.
How does Lee know about these things? How?
They're private.
Why don't you share them with us?
I don't want to bother everyone.
That's the point. I'd like to be bothered.
I don't see how you could know about these things...
unless Elliot's been talking to you.
He hasn't.
If I offended you, I'm sorry.
It's over, Elliot. I don't know how to be any clearer.
- I know I deserve this... - I'm just as much at fault.
If you could believe I have such feelings...
I've got to be honest with you... I've met someone else.
What do you mean?
I told you I wasn't going to wait forever.
It hasn't been forever.
It's been nearly a year since our first time.
You're still married to my sister.
That's fine because you're probably...
more in love with her than you know.
We made so many plans.
You led me on.
I truly believed you were unhappy with Hannah.
I would never have let myself be drawn in.
I was weak. So were you.
Now I've met someone else.
Dinner soon?
About fifteen minutes.
Good.
And you're in love overnight?
I care a great deal about him, yes.
It's over, Elliot. I mean it. It's over.
Sweetheart, I loved your script.
I thought it was so clever.
Well, you're my mother.
Not everybody's going to be such a sucker.
I particularly liked the character of the mother...
just a boozy old flirt with a filthy mouth.
I'm so proud.
Oh, Mom. Thanks.
Now here's a toast to Thanksgiving.
Are we supposed to have beer? Yes!
Let me hear it.
How's that, Fletcher?
Now to Thanksgiving. Here's a little toast.
Come on, bottoms up.
Have you been talking to Holly or Lee about us...
about our personal life?
Me? Of course not.
There's things Holly wrote about in her script...
that are so personal...
it could only have come from you.
I've got a headache, and I don't like being accused.
I'm not accusing. I'm asking. Do you find me too giving?
Too competent?
Too disgustingly perfect or something?
What's come between us? How have I alienated you?
Hannah, my head is throbbing.
You never want to talk about it.
When I bring it up, you change the subject.
We're communicating less and less.
You sleep with me less and less.
Hannah, I am very mixed up! Please!
Do you talk to Holly or Lee behind my back?
They seem to know so much about us.
Well, maybe I've asked advice once or twice or made a joke.
Do you talk to Holly or Lee or what?
Do you phone them?
Leave me alone, can't you?
Jesus, I told you. I need someone I can matter to.
You matter to me. Completely.
It's hard to be around someone...
who gives so much and needs so little in return.
I have enormous needs.
I can't see them, and neither can Lee or Holly.
So pitch black tonight.
I feel lost.
You're not lost.
I love you so much.
You may not remember me...
but we had the worst night of my life together.
I remember you.
I was walking past, I saw you in here...
and I thought we could replay...
We didn't hit it off.
We did everything but exchange gunshots.
How are you?
Good. How are you? You look wonderful.
No, you do.
Remember slamming the cab door in my face?
You came very dangerously close to emasculating my nose...
in a really horrible way.
That was a long time ago.
People change.
- I hope you've changed. - I hope you have, too.
Because your personality left something to be desired...
namely a personality.
So how are you? What are you doing?
Nothing much. Just some stuff.
A little of this, a little of that.
Was that an embarrassing question?
Are you out of work or something?
I've been trying to write.
Have you?
Well, that's interesting. What kind of stuff?
You're not interested in this.
No, I am. I am.
Millions of people say to you, "I have something I just wrote."
Nobody ever said it.
Would you be willing to read something I wrote?
Yes, if it would mean anything to you.
I don't know why it would.
You've always hated my taste in the past.
No, I haven't.
I think it might make a great television script...
and you're so active in television.
Not anymore. I haven't been in television for a year.
You're kidding.
I may have to get back into it...
because my account says I'm running out of dollars...
but, no, I dropped out for a year...
which is a long, dull story.
You OK?
I'm fine.
- How are you? - I'm fine.
What about your script?
I'd love it if you'd read it, because I value your opinion.
But you have to remember while you're reading...
and you're cursing my name...
that this is my first script. Well, not my first script.
My first script was about Hannah and her husband...
but Hannah read it and got really angry.
I can't imagine what you wrote.
It wasn't anything bad, but she just... I don't know.
So I threw it out, but I have this other one.
If you want me to, I'll read it.
Could I come over tomorrow and read it to you?
Come over and read it to me? You must be joking.
I've done my own reading since I was forty.
It's lucky I ran into you... maybe.
What about me? I should have kept going.
I have a nagging sensation...
that I should have kept walking and not begun this conversation.
"We all go through life playing the hand we're dealt.
"Craig... And what hand were you dealt?
"Emily... I'm two high pair.
"Maybe even aces up.
"The problem is you've got three deuces."
That's the end.
No, you can tell me straight. It's OK.
Just tell me what you think.
It's great.
I swe... I'm... I'm speechless. I was...
I was not in the mood to listen to this thing now.
I don't know what to say. I'm moved, and I laughed...
and I was on the edge of my seat.
I just think it's wonderful.
I'm totally... stunned.
This is not an insult.
I'm amazed that you can...
I just thought it was great.
Really?
Yes, I was absolutely...
And what made you think of that climax scene...
where the architect is walking home...
with his actress girlfriend...
and the ex... wife schizophrenic jumps out of the bushes...
and stabs them to death?
It just came to me one day.
Well, it was just fabulous.
You really think I can write?
There's maybe one or two things I'd do differently myself...
but who cares?
It was fabulous.
I mean it. I'm so impressed.
I am. You made my day.
It was just great.
I was set to be bored stiff.
Would you like to have lunch?
I'd love to talk to you about that script.
I think we could do something with it.
And I'd like to hear...
what made you suddenly drop out of life.
- Who cares? - No. I care.
You used to be so ambitious, and...
God, you really liked it?
Gosh, you really went through a crisis, you know that?
How did you get over it?
When I ran into you, you seemed just perfectly fine.
Well, you seem fine now.
Well, I'll tell you.
One day, about a month ago, I really hit bottom.
I just felt that in a godless universe...
I didn't want to go on living.
I happen to own this rifle...
which I loaded, believe it or not...
and pressed it to my forehead.
I remember thinking, "I'm going to kill myself."
Then I thought, "Well, what if I'm wrong?
"What if there is a god? Nobody really knows."
Then I thought, "No. Maybe is not good enough.
"I want certainty or nothing."
And I remember very clearly the clock was ticking...
and I was sitting there frozen with the gun to my head...
debating whether to shoot.
All of a sudden, the gun went off.
I'd been so tense...
my finger had squeezed the trigger inadvertently.
But I was perspiring so much...
the gun had slid off my forehead and missed me.
Suddenly, neighbors were pounding on the door...
and the whole scene was just pandemonium.
And, you know, I ran to the door.
I didn't know what to say. I was embarrassed and confused.
My mind was racing a mile a minute.
I just knew one thing... I had to get out of that house.
I had to get out in the fresh air and clear my head.
And I remember very clearly, I walked the streets.
I walked and walked.
I didn't know what was going through my mind.
It all seemed so violent and unreal to me.
I wandered for a long time on the Upper West Side.
It must have been hours.
My feet hurt. My head was pounding.
I had to sit down.
I went into a movie house. I didn't know what was playing.
I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and be logical...
and put the world back into rational perspective.
And I went upstairs to the balcony...
and I sat down.
The movie was a film I'd seen many times in my life...
since I was a kid...
and I always loved it.
I'm watching these people up on the screen...
and I started getting hooked on the film, you know?
And I started to feel...
"How can you even think of killing yourself?
"Isn't it so stupid?
"Look at all the people up there on the screen.
"They're real funny, and what if the worst is true...
"there's no god, and you only go around once, and that's it?
"Don't you want to be part of the experience?
"What the hell? It's not all a drag."
And I'm thinking to myself...
"Jeez, I should stop ruining my life...
"searching for answers I'm never going to get...
"and just enjoy it while it lasts.
"And after, who knows?
"Maybe there is something. Nobody really knows.
"I know maybe is a very slim reed...
"to hang your whole life on...
"but that's the best we have."
And then I started to sit back...
and I actually began to enjoy myself.
Hello, Freedonia
Oh, don't you cry for me
I'm a... comin' round the mountain
There's something that's been bothering me for a long time...
and I thought I'd tell you what it was...
and clear the deck here, and that's this...
I've always regretted the way I behaved...
that evening we went out.
I just thought I'd tell you.
I really made a fool out of myself.
No, don't be ridiculous.
I was... You know, it was my fault.
So you want to go out to dinner again?
You have any interest in that, or...
Sure. Sure.
Do you? Are you free this evening?
I want ice. Who's got some...
- Oh, there. - Lt's on the table, Dad.
Where's Holly? She's late.
Hannah, did you read that last thing Holly wrote?
It's great. She's really developed.
She really writes good dialogue.
Hannah, can I tell everybody you're going to play Desdemona?
Mom, it's only television.
It's public television.
Shakespeare doesn't get any greater than "Othello."
You with some big black stud.
I love it.
Oh, honey!
Oh, Lee, you are something.
You look very beautiful.
Marriage agrees with you.
Everything that happened between us...
seems more and more hazy.
I acted like such a fool.
I don't know what came over me.
The complete conviction that I couldn't live without you.
What I put us both through.
And Hannah, who, as you once said...
I loved much more than I realized.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Daisy. I didn't miss dinner, did I?
Hi, Marge. Happy Thanksgiving.
- Hello, darling. - Happy Thanksgiving.
Thank you.
Beautiful.
Don't get nervous. It's just your husband.
Hi. How you doing? When'd you get here?
A few minutes ago.
You look so beautiful.
I was talking to your father before...
and I was telling him that it's ironic...
I used to always have Thanksgiving with Hannah...
and I never thought I could love anybody else...
and here it is years later...
and I'm married to you...
and completely in love with you.
The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle.
It really is.
Make a great story, I think.
Guy marries one sister.
Doesn't work out.
Then years later, he winds up married to the other sister.
How you going to top that?
What?
I'm pregnant.
{{{ the end }}}